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surrogate partner therapy or SPT (noun) a therapeutic relationship between a therapist, a client and a surrogate partner that is designed to help the client achieve better sexual intimacy
In order to feel comfortable with penetrative intercourse after a painful experience, Mia talked to her therapist about enlisting the services of a sex surrogate.
Most people are familiar with the term surrogate when it comes to pregnancy, but fewer are aware of how it can apply to sex. Surrogate partner therapy refers to the relationship between a client, a partner surrogate and—this part is really important—a licensed therapist, usually but not always a sex therapist.
The goal of this form of therapy is to encourage the client to become more comfortable with intimacy and sexuality. It’s about opening up the client’s body and mind to be more receptive to pleasure. Sex can be a source of anxiety or fear for a lot people, and a sex surrogate helps the client confront and navigate those emotions. With SPT, they can be sexually vulnerable in a safe space. The work of a sex surrogate includes, but is not limited to, breathwork, meditation exercises, mutual touching and, yes, occasionally sexual intercourse, depending on the boundaries established between the client, the surrogate and the therapist.
People who may benefit from the use of a sex surrogate are survivors of sexual trauma, those with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, those who suffer from vaginismus or other pelvic floor dysfunctions that make penetration painful, those who live with body dysmorphia or those who just get super nervous with anything related to sex.
It is common for sex surrogates to be conflated with sex workers, especially in relationships where the surrogate has committed to having intercourse as part of the therapy. But they are not the same. The primary mission of sex surrogacy is healing, not sexual release.
If you’ve thoroughly researched it or had it recommended by your sex therapist, sex surrogacy can be a transformative way to reclaim your sexuality and restore confidence.