Anorgasmia

anorgasmia (n) the inability to reach orgasm despite adequate stimulation

Even though she was immensely attracted to her partner and aroused during sex, Marina frequently suffered from anorgasmia.

Can’t have an orgasm despite your best efforts? There’s a word for that: anorgasmia. It’s more common and widespread than one would think, and it impacts women more than men. Given the orgasm gap and the cultural sidelining of women’s pleasure, this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone. (In a 2017 study published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior, more than a third of women reported that they don’t usually orgasm during sex.)

There are three main types of anorgasmia: primary, secondary and situational. Primary is when an individual has never successfully reached climax. Secondary is when one used to be able to reach climax easily enough but they no longer can. Situational is when one can orgasm under specific conditions but not others. Anorgasmia can stem from myriad causes, ranging from the psychological (depression, anxiety, fatigue or guilt) to the physical (a side effect of alcohol, drugs or medication). When it comes to a cure, it’s wise to go to a doctor to rule out a physical cause first and then seek the advice of a therapist to address any underlying mental health issues.

All anorgasmia means is that a person’s body, for whatever reason, doesn’t respond in a certain way to sexual stimuli. It doesn’t mean that a person is broken or sexually deficient—and it definitely doesn’t mean they’re frigid. Contrary to what Hollywood narratives and adult entertainment lead you to believe, orgasms aren’t the be-all and end-all of sexual intercourse. It’s still possible to feel pleasure and enjoy intimacy without the Big O, since it’s just one facet of the vast universe of fulfilling sexual experiences.